Sunday, August 24, 2008

Even more to ponder...

*What happens if you're scared half to death twice?

*Why is it when you forget you can remember you forgot?

*How did I know I was wrong when I thought I was right?

*If you cannot change your mind are you sure you have one?

*If your imaginary friend thinks your imaginary would that make you a figment of your imagination and therefore make you not exist?

*Why is it that the people who can't control their own lives are always the ones who are trying to control yours?

*If you are a complete pessimist does that mean you are positively negative?

*Have you ever wished you were what you were when you wished you were what you are now?

*What if you went there but there was no there there?

*If you became a mere shell of your former self, would you be able to hear the ocean all the time?

*Isn't everyone entitled to my opinion?

*Isn't living with a conscience a lot like driving a car with the brakes on?

*Ever wonder how many people are doing or saying the exact same thing as you are at the exact same time as you are? Right now I'm scratching my toe, what are you doing?

*Why is it that no matter what you do, there will always be someone better than you?

*Shouldn't all conversations with a potato be conducted in private?

*What if we think the joke is on them, but it's really on us?

*Isn't it true that as long as you have no expectations to anything, you can't be frustrated because you won't be disappointed?

*Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

*Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?

*Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

*Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

*If incline means to go up and decline means to go down then does cline mean to stay even?

*Just what does 'OK' stand for?

*Why isn't contest the opposite of protest?

*Why is the letter 'X' used to represent the unknown?

*Why do some advertisements say 'Free with Purchase'? If you have to purchase something then its not free is it?

*Why do they say 'New and Improved'? How can it be new if it was improved?

*If someone is telling the truth and no one believes them is it really the truth?

*Why do some restaurants have a sign by the entrance that reads Please wait for hostess to be seated? Aren't we the ones that want to sit down to eat?

*How do you expect the unexpected since it's unexpected?

*If money doesn't grow on trees why do banks have branches?

*Why don't Skittles 'taste like the rainbow'?

*Why does the term 'jerk' apply only to men?

*Isn't it redundant to say an offer is void where prohibited?

*If you cross a shamrock with poison ivy do you think you'd have a rash of good luck?

*Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

*Why do we knock on wood for good luck?

*Isn't it true that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck?

*How come life's most treasured moments always come unannounced?

*Why do we cross our fingers for good luck?

*Do true friends stab you in the front instead?

*What was the loser trying to win anyways?

*Why is it considered bad luck to walk under a ladder?

*Why do banks use all that space and money to construct so many teller stations then never have more than two or three in use?

*The Pillsbury dough boy turns 30 this year. Do we give him a cake for his birthday? Isn't that cannibalism?

*Is it true that the reason men like blonde jokes is because they can understand them?

*What is really real?

*Why do guys always have to control the remote?

*Could it be that everything we see is just a shadow cast by that which we do not see?

*Why isn't the word 'silent' made up only of silent letters?

*Do Police Dogs get free doughnuts too?

*Is it still an 'ECHO' if you don't hear it the first time?

*Is AOL so expensive because someone has to pay for those free disks?

*Why does a funeral start with fun?

*Do stairs go up or down?

*Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

*Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

*If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?

*Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

*If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

*Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

*Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to "Woman Hitler?"

*If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

*If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

*Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

*Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

*Why is a square meal served on round plates?

*Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

*Which way does a compass point in space?

*Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

*Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

*If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

*Why did Mary own a little lamb?

*If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

*Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?

*If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

*If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

*Why are Pringles curved?

*What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

*Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

*If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

*Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?

*Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?

*Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

*Can bald men get lice?

*Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

*If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

*Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

*Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?

*When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

*If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

*364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

*Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

*Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

*Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?

*Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

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